Wounds to Wisdom: Seven Lessons God Taught Me in a Season That Looked Like Success

Looking back now, I can see that what felt like one of the hardest seasons of my life was actually a classroom.

God was teaching me lessons I could not have learned any other way.

Part 1: Success Can Still Be a Valley

From the outside, 2025 looked like the peak of my career.

I was serving as a Principal and making the highest salary I had ever earned. By most professional standards, it looked like success.

But no one saw the cost.

No one saw the toll it took on my mind, my body, or my spirit.

And the truth is, I am not sharing this story to expose anyone.

I am sharing it because sometimes people see God’s glory, but they truly do not know the story.

Last year, March 9th, I had just met with the CEO of a nonprofit that wanted to start a Christian micro-school in Pine Bluff. A friend connected us, and we began building something that felt bigger than all of us.

But people did not see what happened before that door opened.

In January of 2025, I left the central office weeping.

I sat in my car trying to catch my breath, crying out, asking God a question I had never asked before.

“Lord, rescue me.”

I had never felt lower as a human, yet everyone saw God’s glory in my life.

I was deeper in the valley than ever before.

As a professional, I had never experienced someone speaking to me with such disrespect. Although I believe I said what needed to be said in response, I was still hurt. Crushed, almost.

I had never been cursed at, belittled, and misunderstood by someone who had never even taken the time to know me for themselves. Yet, they were the person in control of my professional future.

My daughter saw me in the valley, and she saw the smile I put on every day to get the job done, no matter how heavy things felt on the inside.

Growing up, many of us were taught the phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” The truth is, that saying is a lie. Words carry weight. They shape environments, relationships, and the way people see themselves and others.

Words can kill.

According to the Word, the power of life and death is in the tongue.

And the worst part?

I could not talk to anyone.

I did not know who to trust, what to say, or where to start.

I had been strong for so long, and I could feel my soul breaking.

I battle with perfectionism. I always want to do a good job. But sometimes when you are walking closely with God, He allows you to go through seasons that feel heavier than you expected.

Not to break you.

But to prepare you.

Sometimes wounds become wisdom.

Sometimes valleys exist because someone else will need directions through them one day.

Part 2: God Confirms What Your Spirit Already Knows

In February, I met with my Pastor and told him honestly,

“I know it was supposed to be hard, but this feels bigger than me.”

He listened carefully and then told me something I will never forget.

He said Pine Bluff is small, and what I was describing about the system I was working in sounded very similar to what others had shared privately with him. Although he would not go into details, what I shared resonated with him, and he was able to confirm that what I was experiencing was not normal.

He shared a perspective I still hold dear to my heart.

He said being a Principal is much like being a Pastor.

Everyone is watching. It appears as though you have all the power, but we know that is not true.

God is the only one who is all powerful and all knowing.

No one knows what it feels like to be in that position unless they have served in that capacity.

The weight is indescribable, and when you do not have the proper support, you are bound to burn out or collapse.

He was the first person I spoke with about what I had been carrying.

It was beginning to take a toll on my body.

My mind and my soul had been crying out.

I truly did not know if I would make it, but I was determined to press on.

Then he gave me simple advice.

“If things are not better in a month, I recommend you to start looking for employment elsewhere.”

He prayed with me and confirmed something my spirit already felt.

The weight was spiritual.

And sometimes spiritual battles show up disguised as professional responsibilities.

After that conversation with my Pastor, I began to see the situation differently.

I actually still have a resignation letter that I never sent.

By the end of that season, I had seen so much and understood so much that I knew the situation was bigger than me.

I chose silence.

I chose to wait and see how things would play out.

It is hard to describe what it feels like to be erased while you are still faithfully serving. That kind of pain is excruciating. And yet, I still showed up.

Most importantly, I chose to finish strong as a Principal.

Even though I could sense that God had something different ahead for me, I held on and honored the assignments I had been given.

That experience taught me something I will never forget.

Holding on longer than you should will eventually hurt you.

When it is time to let go, let go.

Otherwise, you may find yourself confusing suffering with endurance, and calling it faithfulness when God has already given you permission to move.

God had trusted me to carry that season.

But I had to trust Him enough to begin preparing for what was next, even though I had no idea what that truly meant.

I thought I would spend three to five years enduring a system I could barely breathe inside.

But God had other plans.

And I am so glad He rescued me.

Part 3: God Moves Faster Than Our Plans

God has a sense of humor. Truly.

I used to say that after I had accomplished more and established myself, I wanted to open a Christian private school in Pine Bluff.

My timeline was three to five years.

God must have thought I said three to five months.

Because by March, the door opened.

I laughed and said, “Well… that was God speed.”

I was in awe.

I had the opportunity to begin building behind the scenes, and it almost felt too good to be true.

But it happened.

We launched in August of 2025.

But what surprised me even more is that by the end of 2025, I had also let it go.

I helped get it started.

And I can always visit.

But nothing on this earth truly belongs to me.

It all belongs to God.

My relocating to Atlanta has begun to make so much make sense.

In 2019, I joined Destiny Worship Center.

In 2020, I was one of the ten members allowed in the sanctuary during the pandemic, serving on the praise team.

In 2021, God began placing my career in what felt like a pressure cooker preparing me for the birth of this season.

Every year after that, I experienced a title change, greater responsibility, and pay increases.

Director of Teacher Leadership.
Academy Director.
Principal.
Chief Academic Officer.

This was divine alignment.

I never went looking for any of those jobs.

God placed them in my path.

God has been keeping me and Jada all along.

Carrying us every step of the way.

The relationship I was in tried to rob me of the future God has promised for me, but God delivered me from that too.

I was able to leave it all behind.

And that was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make in my life.

But just to “be able” is a blessing.

Part 4: Grief Must Be Named

Honestly, the 2024–2025 school year was one of the hardest years of my career.

Spiritual warfare is real.

And I know I was not the only educator carrying that weight.

Looking back now, I can name what we were feeling.

We were grieving.

Our system had experienced so much change.

I had only been there two years, and even I could feel it.

The educators who had served there longer described a much deeper grief.

They remembered when there was a time that things felt different, but those were all memories.

There was confusion.

There was pain.

There were things happening that felt beyond our control.

But we still had to keep going.
We had to keep performing.
And what made it harder was that no one was willing to address the real issues.

Silence slowly became culture.
And when silence becomes culture, disrespect eventually becomes normal.

People were carrying grief, fear, and exhaustion, but no one was naming it.

When feelings are not acknowledged, they leak out in ways that hurt the very people we are trying to serve and the people we are serving alongside.

The science behind that is real. When emotions are suppressed and never processed, they do not disappear. They surface in other ways. Outbursts. Irritability. Microaggressions. Misplaced frustration.

The truth is, the only people who can truly hurt you are the ones close enough to reach you.

My sister once shared a quote with me that I have never forgotten.

“It is easy to attack your teammate.”

And sometimes that is exactly what happens when people are hurting and no one has given them space to say it out loud.

Then I realized something.

In 2021, when I was teaching at Watson Chapel, our community experienced a tragedy when Daylon Burnett was shot inside the school building. Students were virtual for two days and returned on the third. Staff never had a day to step away. We still completed state testing and continued the year as if everything was normal.

But when something like that happens, nothing inside of you is normal.

And yet the world expects you to keep going as if it is.

And that helped me understand why the weight of the 2024–2025 school year felt so heavy.

I began to see the weight of trauma and grief, and how easily performance and politics can become more important than people.

Everyone gets so caught up in doing their job that we forget the real work is, has always been, and always will be – people.

Eventually I realized something else.
The weight I was carrying was not just affecting me.
My daughter was carrying it too.

In March, I made the decision to remove her from the school, even while I was still Principal.

She joined The Learning Lounge, a micro school founded by Kanesha Adams. At the time she was the only micro school leader in Pine Bluff.

Kanesha has always been a change agent in education in our city. 

She was also my instructional coach when I first began teaching in 2017, and she even sat in on my interview and strongly advocated for me to be hired.

Years later, God used that same connection again.

She not only created a place where Jada could breathe and just be herself again, she also introduced me to the CEO of the nonprofit that wanted to start the Christian micro school.

Looking back now, I can see how God was weaving connections long before I understood what He was doing.

That chapter was not just about freedom for me.

It was about freedom for Jada too.

She was finally able to just be Jada again.

Not “the principal’s daughter.”

Not “Ms. Newby’s child.”

Just Jada.

I love Pine Bluff.
Truly.

But I hate what has happened.

I hate that children are still paying the cost of politics.

I hate that people are trapped in trauma and too much pain to name.

I hate that “the system is not broken.”
It is a well oiled machine doing exactly what it was designed to do long before I was even breathing.

And yet…

I still have hope.

I believe the people there are doing the best they can with the tools they have been given.

But Scripture reminds us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood.

Sometimes the enemy uses the very people closest to you to wound you in ways only God can heal.

No one can rescue you from an assignment God has allowed.

You must surrender.

Learn.

Grow.

And move forward into the next season He has prepared.

Part 5: Pray First

One of the greatest lessons I learned in that season was simple.

When you are overwhelmed, pray first.

Do not call anyone.

Do not make decisions.

Pray.

Talk to God.

In your mind. Out loud. Written down. However you prefer.

Just pray.

People want to help, but they are human too. Scripture instructs us to carry everything to God in prayer.

So let us practice obedience.

This is wisdom I pass to my daughter.

I share it with my parents.

I share it with my ninety five year old great grandmother.

And now I share it with you.

Ironically, when I asked my ninety five year old great grandmother what her secret to a long life was, she said,

“Anytime I have been overwhelmed and did not know how I was going to make it, I would just pray.”

I smiled.

Confirmation.

Thank you, God, for teaching me to pray.

Thank you, God, for teaching me how to pray.

Without the pain I experienced, I would have never discovered how much faith You placed inside of me.

If I had leaned on my people too heavily, they would have tried to rescue me themselves.
If my loved ones knew the things I stayed silent about, they would have shouted it from the mountaintops.

So I had to process my trauma, grief, and anger internally, trusting that God was still building something greater.

My life is His.

I gave myself to God as a little girl.
Little did I know He already had plans for me.

I am so glad I chose to get to know God for myself.

My relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important relationship in my life.
Choosing to follow Him is the best decision I have ever made.

My salvation is eternal and permanent.
Yours can be too.

The moment you believe in Jesus and choose to let every hardship, every trigger, and every interaction become an opportunity to please God.

It is not about what you see with your eyes.

Look inside and truly see yourself.

Do not let the Devil use you.

Choose peace over being right.

Part 6: Protect Your Peace

One reason I choose to believe that everyone is doing the best they can is because I know what it feels like to lose my peace focusing on what I believe others should, could, or would do.

That thinking gives away your power.

Focus on you.

Let God deal with everyone else.

Trust God.

Drink your water.

Mind your business.

Self control is one of the hardest skills to master.

But if you can remain unphased on the outside no matter the storm brewing inside, that is real strength.

Observe what is happening.

Do not absorb everything into your spirit.

Mirror neurons are real, and they fire rapidly in your brain. 

Without realizing it, if you are not careful, you will spend your life matching the energy around you.

Never truly mastering the only assignment God really gave you.

Yourself.

It is hard.

I argue it is impossible without surrendering to the voice of the Lord.

The only thing that is true is God’s Word.

Everything else is always changing.

Sometimes the brain cannot keep up with those changes.

But if you remember God’s Word in the midst of it all, He will truly give you peace that surpasses all understanding.

Part 7: Choose Peace Over Being Right

When someone tries to tell you who you are, remember this.

You are not who they say you are.

You are who God says you are.

Choose peace over being right.

Tell them, “I am not who you say I am. You are who you say I am.”

And never forget,

Sometimes the most powerful response is simply saying,

“Okay.”

Not because they are correct.

But because your peace is worth more than the argument.

Build your joy through thankfulness.

The more we pray, the more we learn how to thank God.

Joy becomes possible when we stop trying to control things that were never ours to control.

Speak life. And you will begin to see life.

God is with you.

And He will not fail.

So the real question becomes this.

Whose approval are you chasing?

Others?

Yourself?

Or God?

You get to decide.

Every single day.

Sometimes wounds become wisdom.

And when we let God lead us through the valley, even the hardest seasons become road maps to others.

And sometimes the very seasons that almost break you are the ones God uses to prepare you for the life He always intended you to live.