It’s Not the Enemy, It’s the Inner Me

The Brain, The Body, and The Battle Within

My purpose is to help your pain meet peace by the end of this piece.

This piece is for every human.

Man.
Woman.
Boy.
Girl.

You do not know what you do not know.

But once you know… you are responsible for what you do with it.

So read this with caution.

And apply what you learn.

Because once you see… you cannot unsee.
And once you know… you cannot unknow.

If you ever need help navigating, I am here.

The Bible says:

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4:6)

So I am compelled to share what I know…

because I want us all to see.

How can we claim to love God
and not care about our brothers and sisters?

We are all God’s children.

And I have hope.

I believe the world can find peace through faith.

But that only happens when we choose to operate from a spirit of love…
and not fear.

Just because you are doing your best
does not mean you cannot do better.

So instead of pointing fingers…

let us all turn inward
and be the change we want to see.

One conversation at a time.
One lesson at a time.
One day at a time.

Since we serve an all powerful God, why do we know pain?

Because there would be no rainbow without the rain.

And some lessons can only be learned the hard way…

May these Wounds to Wisdom help your pain meet peace today.

The Bible tells us:

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…” (Ephesians 6:12)

And that is true.

But if we are not careful, we will spend our lives looking for an enemy outside of us…

while ignoring the battle within us.

Because some of what we blame on the enemy
is actually our unhealed parts,
our automatic reactions,
our refusal to slow down and choose differently.

The battlefield is not always around you.

Sometimes… it is within you.

There are two systems operating in your brain at all times.

One keeps you alive.
The other teaches you how to live.

Most people never learn the difference, and because of that, many people spend their entire lives surviving, never fully understanding what it means to truly live.

System 1: Survival

System 1 is your autopilot brain.

It is always on.
Even when you are asleep.
It keeps your heart beating, your lungs breathing, your body functioning.

It holds your emotions.
Your reactions.
Your instincts.

It is fast.
It is automatic.
And it is designed to keep you safe.

But if you are not careful, you will spend your entire life operating from System 1.

Because safety can look like survival…

even when it is slowly destroying you.

System 2: Awareness

System 2 is different.

It is slower.
It is intentional.
It requires effort.

It is the part of your brain that processes.
The part that pauses.
The part that allows you to respond instead of react.

System 2 is where you begin to see the bigger picture.

It is where I believe the Holy Spirit begins to speak, guide, and correct.

But System 2 must be practiced.

It does not take over automatically.

You have to choose it.

Over and over again.

And the more you choose it, the stronger it becomes.

A Simple Example

What happens in your brain when I ask you:

What is 2 + 2?

Most of you immediately said 4.

That is System 1.

Fast. Automatic. No effort.

Now try this:

568 + 679.

You probably paused.
You started thinking.
You began working through it step by step.

That is System 2.

Slower. Intentional. Effort required.

Learning By Doing

The same thing happens when you learn how to drive.

At first, you think you understand it.

You have watched others.
You have an idea.

But the first time you press the brake…
or the gas…

it becomes a completely different experience.

Because knowing is not the same as doing.

There are countless books written on learning by doing.

But we all lived it before we could even read.

Learning How to Walk

Think about a baby learning how to walk.

How many times do they fall?

Over and over again.

And what do we do?

We cheer them on.
We encourage them.
We push them more and more each time.
We add supports… and remove them along the way.

We never shame them for falling.

We expect the process.

We celebrate the progress.

Until one day… they walk on their own.

The same is true about the brain.

No matter how old a person gets.

Some people just choose to stop learning.

And when you stop learning… you stop growing.

Alive… but not living.

Simply surviving.
Trying to get by.

Going through hell…

because there are parts of you that you will not surrender to God.

Let Jesus be your stronghold.

Run every decision, every thought, every word that comes out of your mouth through Him.

Why You Miss What Is Right in Front of You

The brain is designed to focus.

Which means it is also designed to ignore.

People can scientifically be blind to what is happening right in front of them because the brain focuses on the task.

We are checking boxes.
Moving fast.
Getting through the day.

And in doing so, we miss what we were meant to see.

But that is also protection.

Because seeing is knowing.

And knowing requires responsibility.

If you can see the problem, you can solve it.

But it is not comfortable.

It takes time.
It takes effort.
It takes choices over time.

It never happens overnight.

Helen Keller said:

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

System 2 is vision.

It is the difference between reacting and responding.

It is how Michelle Obama can say:

“When they go low, we go high.”

Shame, Blame, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Brené Brown teaches that shame says:

“I am bad.”

While guilt says:

“I did something bad.”

That distinction matters.

Because shame attacks your identity.
Guilt addresses your behavior.

Shame says there is something wrong with who you are.
Guilt says there is something to correct in what you did.

Shame keeps you stuck.
Blame keeps you distracted.
Accountability sets you free.

And if we are not careful, we will speak to people in ways that attack who they are instead of addressing what they did.

That is why I teach people to say:

“I love you, but I did not like when you…”

Because we must learn to separate the behavior from the identity.

You can correct behavior without condemning a person.

You can hold people accountable without shaming them.

And you must learn to do the same for yourself.

You can only give others the grace you can give yourself.

Self and Parts

We all have a Self.

And we all have parts.

Our parts were formed in moments.

Moments of pain.
Moments of fear.
Moments of trauma.

And they stay the age you were when whatever happened caused that part to form.

They do not know how old you are.

Parts only function as themselves.

So we must learn to control our Self so that the parts do not take over.

Survival Mode

When you are in survival mode, this is what happens.

A part takes over to protect you.

But you do not realize it until after the damage has been done.

And then Self has to deal with what happened.

That is accountability.

Some people never reach this point.

They spend their entire life surviving.

And if they are not careful, parts of them will hurt the people they love…

or worse,

self sabotage them to death.

Remember, “accountability feels like an attack, when you are not ready to accept your behavior is harmful.”

And you cannot truly love someone and not hold them accountable.

But it starts with holding yourself accountable.

Because at the end of the day

You will only answer for you.

Die Daily

This is why the Bible says to die daily to your flesh.

Parts of you must be released with love
every time you choose Jesus over your flesh.

It is okay to acknowledge:

“Part of me wanted to cuss them out.”

The question becomes:

Did you do it?

And what are you going to do when that test happens again?

What did you learn about yourself through that interaction?

And when those parts of you do come out…

how are you going to handle life afterwards?

Reflection Is the Work

There is a part of a poem I learned in the 7th grade that says:

“I can never hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
so whatever happens I want to be self respecting and conscience free.”

No one is greater than the other.

The Bible says we all fall short.

But we all must be willing to look ourselves in the mirror and decide:

Which part of you are you going to give to God today?

Love or Fear

I have shared before that a baby is born with two feelings at the core:

Fear and love.

So I ask you:

Do you operate from a spirit of love?
Or fear?

Who rules you?

The Bible says God is Love.

Fear is programmed.

We have a choice to make.

Accountability and Boundaries

Hold yourself accountable.

Forgive those who hurt you…

because maybe, just maybe, they know not what they do.

And if they do know, and they continue to hurt you…

then maybe you need better boundaries to make sure it does not happen again.

Final Reflection

Because they say “it be your own people” who test you the most…

I argue that it is because there is no one on this earth that you love the most.

So the enemy uses those closest to you to hurt you.

But remember:

Someone has to be the bigger person.

They are learning how to navigate the world by watching you.

You are either showing them what to do…

or what not to do.

But you are only responsible for your best.

Closing

It is not too late.

It is not too late to turn your life over to God.

It is not too late to apply what you have learned moving forward.

Jesus is our only Savior.
Our protector.
Our peace.

There is no way to the Father but through Him.

The only difference between believers and non believers…

is a choice.

A choice to believe in the resurrection.
A choice to believe in the Word of God.

I do not write as someone who has it all together.

I write as someone who God has kept.

Through mountaintops.
Through valleys.

And when I look back, within, and forward…

I know He has been there all along.

So I leave you with this:

What part of you will you give to God today?

How will you make your System 2 stronger than your System 1?

And what will you do differently…

now that you can see?